Thursday, November 19, 2009

Ask an Omani - Arranged Marriages

Yes readers, its time for another edition of our popular 'Ask an Omani' segment. This week, arranged marriage.

Do you think its OK to have your marriage totally arranged? How big a % of Omani marriages do you think are effectively arranged?

Arranged Marriages?

In general, an arranged marriage in Oman (mostly towns around Muscat) is not as bad as it sounds. When the guy proposes to a girl (whether it's because he saw her and liked her, or his female relatives suggested her to him), he gets to see her before the engagement. They see each other and talk. Many end up texting or calling each other.

During this time (which can take a week or months), both of them have the opportunity to decide whether they want to be together or not. However, there are two types of arranged marriages. One is a fake-arranged marriage, and the other is, well, an arranged marriage. The fake one is where the two have a secret relationship, but keep their parents out of it. This way the father will "always" be proud that he married his daughter off in a pure arranged marriage!

Think of it like this: in the West, some of you have moms and dads that like to introduce suitable partners (like match-making). Some of you hate it, and others don’t mind it! It's the same idea, but we have protocol to follow or else….gossip!

I think these two types of arranged marriages are acceptable, and they usually are successful. However, I do not think it is "suitable" anymore to have a pure arranged marriage where the two never see or talk to each other until their wedding night. I know many girls that struggle, and I think that it has a lesser success rate. This type of arranged marriages is mostly common in Northern and Southern parts of Oman

Thanks Dreamer!

And readers, don't forget to email your questions to undercover(dot)dragon(at)gmail(dot)com


  1. Whenever this topic is raised it seems to miss the point. Whilst I respect the culture of an arranged marriage what cannot be arranged is love!

    The idea of spending ones's life with someone where there is little or no love (not all arrangements are as described!).

    Then we have the second, third and now rare the fourth marriages. Why are they not arranged? Why are so many Omani women seeking ex-pats? It's not for sex!

    A subject more complex and in depth than is portrayed; lets got there!

  2. wow D.A. good topic!!
    ...Dragon... please go ahead!

  3. Muscat Daily ..
    Tuesday ...
    November 24th...
    Page 4 ...
    Arranged Marriages ...

  4. "However, I do not think it is "suitable" anymore to have a pure arranged marriage where the two never see or talk to each other until their wedding night."

    Why is it not suitable to have a pure arranged marriage anymore? Is there any reason other than the girls struggling and the lesser success rate?

    I just want to know.

    I have 4 sisters. All of them are married and all of them did not talk to their husbands or see them before they were married. All of them don't have problems.. ok, serious problems with their husbands.

    However, I have cousins who are engaged... for the second time. Both of them have chattered with their ex-fiances.. and they must have seen their pics or something like that. Well, they are engaged for the second time. Both of them!

    Hmm.. should this be telling us something?!!

  5. Im not sure about this, but I dont think all Omani wants to have an arranged marriage. Its your life, and you will be with your partner the whole days of your life. And this may cause unloyalty of one partner if he/she doesnt feel love to her/his spouse. You know, my bf is about to marry but still he didnt tell me. When I discover it and saying my goodbyes, he cried and until now he doesnt want to leave me because he said doesnt have a feelings on her and he havent even saw her. Im encouraging him to be good to her and to do the right thing: to forget me. :( This is really suck, Im worried about him and also I feel like dying because we cannot do anything but to feel the pain.


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