Saturday, February 9, 2008

Sexual Adventures in Oman

Muscat is generally a tough spot if you’re a single guy expat. Especially compared to Dubai, say. You could go for the prostitutes of course. Or as its called in Oman, a 'Russian Massage', wink wink. Or a Chinese takeaway. But prostitutes in Oman are hardly the sort you could take to a work dinner party, or likely to offer conversation and actual sophisticated female company.

The competition for the few single Western women is pretty steep, especially with a lot of the real party girls dating mega-rich members of the extended Omani royal family. Guys, as you probably have found out, a dreary job in an office or in the desert, driving a Prado or a Jeep Wrangler won’t cut it against a Ferrari, a big bowl of Andean happy powder and a house the size of a small hotel. But fear not guys. Muscat Confidential can give all you single guys a huge hint.

I have a friend who I found out is dating Omani women. Yep. Omani ladies. I was amazed at his daring. And even more amazed when he elaborated further to explain these were married women! Wow. That’s taking risks that borders on the insane. What if he gets caught, I asked? What if a scorned lover rats him out to the ROP, or even worse, to her brothers?

Ah, no problem, he explained. You do of course have to be very very discreet, but they are even more afraid of being found out than he is!

The trick? These are not ordinary married women, but unfortunate ladies who have had the misfortune to enter into an arranged marriage with a husband that turns out to be homosexual. He of course can’t say to his family when the arrangements are made ''Oh, no, I don’t want to get married Mum, Dad, because you see I’m actually gay. Sorry!'' He basically goes through with it. After an initial consummation, presumably doggy style, he’s off all the time with the underground gay scene and Filipino hairdressers, safely married, satisfying his Mum and ignoring his wife. After a while, she figures whats OK for him is OK for her, and so it goes.

The advantage of having an affair with an expat is 1/ he’s as scared of getting caught as you. 2/ he’s unlikely to know your family. 3/ he’ll have a nice secluded bachelor pad surrounded by other expats. 4/ in a few years he’ll be off anyhow.

I was intrigued. Why hadn’t I thought of that when I was single? And how does he meet them?

Apparently the supermarket is the place. Eye contact? Good. Phone number? You’re in.

He must have balls of steel. I’d always be looking over my shoulder for the 5 brothers to burst in brandishing a red hot poker. But he seems very satisfied. And he assures me that they are too.
His only lament is that there are too many. So, there you go guys. Go shopping!


  1. Hi there. It's really shocking and a complete mess up to read such a thing. I'm not saying that Omani ladies are perfect but I would not expect them to go to that extend.

    Anyway, I do not really agree with the reason, you stated, to be behind this issue. It could be anything but not because of the arranged married or being homosexual.

    I read from you profile, that you love the country and the peole and you are amazed of the sultan Qaboos and of what he achieved which leads you to respect him. If you really do mean that, then I believe you have to do something and stop your friend from what he is doing because simply what he is doing is a complete disrespect to Oman, its people and HM Sultan Qaboos.

    Thank you. :)

  2. Thanks for the comment Anon.

    I'm not sure how to reply, as I disagree with your underlying assumptions.

    Firstly, my friend is a grown up, as are the women he's dating. So its really up to them. And he is very, very sure that the ladies are married to gay men. It also makes sense, at least to me, that where there are arranged marriages, there will be times (not common I admit) where either of the spouses is actually gay, but cannot in this society admit that and therefore they feel compelled to go through with the marriage. This happens in the west too, normally with people who have not even admitted to themselves that they are gay.

    I think as well we have a different idea of what constitutes respect. You see, to me, having issues discussed openly, treating people as intelligent thinking adults is what respect is.

    Pretending things don't happen, or closing ones eyes and ears to real issues, is what happens too often in Oman. 'By wishing hard enough I can make it so'. Its an attitude that treats people like children, and also means real issues don't get addressed but continue to fester underground.

    A good example might be any discussion of teenage pregnancy in Oman. By not discussing it, young people don't get access to good advice on contraception, and so the problem continues.

    I'll do another post on pre-marital sex in Oman. As is clear from the Sabla, it is (of course!) very common.

    1. I have just come (back) to Muscat and find your posts comforting, sane, humane and most interesting... especially the very dry most recent ones... you can see one of my my current preoccupation from where this is posted... but your words are a breath of fresh air compared to malls, hifm, arrogance, expats who forget where they came from, etc, etc, etc... Long may you continue your confidential outpourings!

  3. I'm not shocked at all. Husbands have affairs and mistresses, women do it too and are becoming more bolder at it. Plus like you mentioned a foreigner wont look down at them or threaten with a scandal. I've heard numrmours stories of Omani girls and Emaraties and Kuwaiti students that study in Fire Safety Engineering College.

    Adultery is dishonest and horrible. I dont have any problem though with any Single Adult omani female dating any foreigner if that what she wants.

  4. HAHAHA!!!

    UD, you diamond!

    Comedy gold reading this. I'll be sure to share this one with my wife next time we're at lulu's....


  5. Kay,
    Thanks. I think it would be rare for an unmarried Omani girl to date an expat, but its good that people like you would be understanding. Society however would be so condemning. And if she actually managed to get permission to marry a non-Omani (very very difficult to get), her kids wouldn't be Omani. Unlike men in Oman (for example, some Omani Ministers have French wives), who seem to be able to date western women no problem as they 'grow up'.

    Lurker. No worries. Now you know why you keep getting eyed up at the supermarket!

  6. I'm not sure when exactly the law forbidding the marriage of foreigners - specifically those Non-GCC citizens - passed, but my guess is maybe 20 years ago - give or take a few years. Hence, the couple of Ministers you are referring to and many other Omani men married to foreigners have all been married in the 80s and before.

    Society would not be forgiving to any Omani women wanting to marry an non-Omani. We are still dealing with the issues of marrying out of the immediate tribe and sector let alone an Omani female marrying a Western! But I have to admit families and society have been better at accepting other tribes and sectors mainly to the raising education levels and childern not being completely "under" the wings of their parents, especially in Muscat where Omanis for all over the country mix and mingle.

    If there was an order of preference, it would go something like this:

    2.GCC Citizen
    3.Arab Muslim
    4.Non-Arab Muslim
    5.Western Converted to Islam

    An "infidel" would never be an option for any Muslim women.

  7. Kay,

    I didn't realise the Ministers had married before the law changed.

    I was under the impression tho' that an Omani MAN could marry a foreigner still (as long as she's a muslim or converts), and that his kids would still be Omani. I met an Omani man in the supermarket a few weeks ago shopping with his American wife and their beautiful 2 young kids. He met her at University, and his family was very supportive.

    And that is not the case for women. So I'm sure there's a pretty clear discrimination. I'll check.

    I know a few Omani women who have married westerners, and indeed they are treated as 'black sheep' in Omani society. Its something that will take many more generations to change.

  8. This is total bullshit however you tried to make it look real. Just for those thinking they have the courage, get it now before you get raped, if you were a bit unlucky, the least you may face with an eye contact is deportation. Cheers!

  9. If you readers don't mind, I'd like to keep this previous comment up. Its someone from Oman via Omantel, unfortunately, and it helps to show some of the usually hidden wackos around.

    While we could indeed speculate on the size of his penis, and his sexual orientation (note the clearly Freudian reference to ass...), we at least know his stance on misogynism and violent threats.

  10. The comedy just gets better and better :)

    I've gleefully told everyone I know lately about this and everyone's had a laugh at it.

    Please continue!

  11. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  12. Kickass,
    (your identicle 8 comments now pared back to just the one)...

    Your rather confused comments combined with obscenities (hence wacko) mentions rape (hence misogynist). I didn't say your were Omani, just that you were in Oman, via the Omantel network. I don't mind that you're Korean. But if you're as crazy as you seem, yes, I find it unfortunate you're in the same country (no offense).

    I guess I'm glad you like the blog. I double check everything I put on. I hear many things I don't believe, and many things I believe but can't prove. And know many many things I wish I could blog about, but as it is truly privileged information I have access to in a professional capacity, can't use. If you have actual information thats relevent to anything (confirming or contrary), pass it on.

    Unfortunately some of the things that are true, many people in Oman don't believe, or don't want to believe. Thats OK.

    Yes, I'm being watched, and I'm OK with that. I do watch out, but mainly I make sure I stay within the spirit and the letter of the law of the Sultanate of Oman.

    And I still find it strange that you keep refering to 'ass' so much.

  13. Oops, Kickass left the same comment so many times that in trying to leave 1, I deleted them all. So here it is again.

    Original comment
    So now I'm misogynist, hidden wacko and "unfortunately" from Oman? Even worse, it's Omantel! I've changed it for you .. now 'fortunately' I'm from Korea!

    You seem to have that feeling that "Oh shit, I'm being fucking watched" who give a fuck. This blog is cool, your topics too, just don't believe everything you hear, and look after your ass well. This land is still controlled by predators, and you're just a prey.

    No hard feelings, you're absolutely okay but it pisses me off seeing crap shit and not spit on it.

  14. There's a saying in Oman that goes "il hindi ma yikhabar". Translation: the Indian won't tell. I first heard it back when I was in school in the 80's in reference to stories about Omani housewives who sleep with their houseboys or drivers to satisfy their sexual needs. They'd never cheat with an Omani man because he'll end up telling someone about it, but the poor Indian.. he'll never tell.

    Stories about married women cheating aren't new. And they're much bolder than before, they don't just go with expats.

  15. UD,

    This is very interesting stuff .. if you dont mind i want to try and understand this a bit more.. i think its a very strange social phenomenon...that is... this kind of a club now.. and if you are in with one these wives then you might have access to rest ... or am reading this wrong ?

    If i understand your post correctly .. your friend seems to say that there are many women married to gay men...can he also tell us what he estimates this number to be ? is it in the hundreds/thousands?

    also, is this a specific slice of society that sees this more than another ? is it more common among rich people? is it more common among a specific ethnic group?

    if you dont think its worth while digging into this a bit deeper then you can ignore my post ... however, i think the whole point of discussing these issues is not only to bring them to light but its to try and understand the reasons behind them .. and even maybe try to find out how to solve them (if possible)

    in this situation i think there is no solving to be done .. what is happening is kind of the solution to another problem ...

  16. Muscati,

    Interesting. It reminds of the probably appocryphal story of the Expat housewife who asked the houseboy to please go upstairs and have a shower (due to a case of body odour). Afer some time, with no reappearance of houseboy, she goes upstairs to find him naked on the bed. He explained that with his previous employer 'have a shower' was code for sexual services!

    Anon. He didn't say. So I can't comment on the numbers from his side. And there is no mention of a 'club'. Just standard upper middle class Muscat-based Omani ladies. Applying standard human rates (2%) to Oman (500,000 males over 18) would suggest there should be 10,000 homosexually inclined adult males in Oman, and I'd have to presume a significant proportion are married.

  17. i dont see the problem here, any omani guy gets a chance to bang a white chick then he wont think twice. So i think its fair for the expats to do the same.

    Where is the russian massage palour???

  18. Angels dont live on earth, nor it do here in Oman,bad and good are every where. I came across couple of guys who managed to find local Omani women as sex partners. What i see from your article that you very much respect the Sultan this is why, talking like mass media, Bad thing dont happen here, the situation is tough for the women and bla bla of feminism. but simply it happens for no reason? not all are married women, some are divorced, others single, some are local prostitutes. Makes the point you look very much like an Omani guy mate.

  19. Okay then; When I land in Muscat next month, I am heading straight from the airport to the supermarket. Right to the cucumber section for a close measure!

  20. salam to u mr undercover,
    please i want to fiance went to ministry of interior to ask permission to get married a non omani muslim but he was failed and they took his passport and he was sent back to saudi arabia where he is presently living since 28 question is how can he take his passport back without waiting for 2 years? as the rules stated in my own understanding that he have to wait for two(2)years untill he get his passport as a punishment from the country rules..any website u can give me about this willing to wait for my fiancee till his passport with we can get married soon inshaalah biijnillah..thank you in advance sir!jenny

  21. Greetings UD!

    Love your blog! This post rings true not just in Oman but all of GCC ,I know more than one Indian who was the happy recipient of a local ladys affections!

    There is another story,also possibly apocrphal because I heard many versions of it in many places.But probably this is the original version:In a Kuwaiti household, an Indian servant was pressed in sexually servicing the lady of the house but was caught by the teenage daughter.As part of his "plea bargain" he was then comissioned in pleasuring the daugher as well as frequently as humanely possible.Finally he was overcome with exhaustion after a few months and just fled back home!

    BTW ,here is the blog of an Omani lady engaged to a Western man.She shares your(and my) distaste for the more unsavory aspects of GCC culture.

  22. i got no answer on my post dated february 9,2010..please if u can e mail me on my e mail add.. asking about my omani fiance if how can he take back his passport confiscated by the judge as a punishment of asking a permission to get married a non omani..please help there any chance for me and him to marry?

  23. Hello there,
    I may be moving to Oman, I am from Spain and I am gay. I have a partner and we have been together for 6 years. We are thinking about getting married. Now I have the chance to move to Oman for work and we are quite worried about him getting a visa. Since homosexual acts, per se, are outlawed, I would like some recommendation by perhaps another expat on how to proceed when requesting the visa. Should we say we are married? should we look for an alternative?

  24. This ppl think about their own sisters... but when they frequently rape and kill foreign girls... Then where is your respect towards woman... and believe in god and jahannam?

  25. Fuck all GCC dirty dogs shut up u fucking ass hole and dirty pepole on a earth and what you all taking about you ass hole?

    Fuck off

    1. You need to work on your anger or it will destroy you and eat you up. People like you create wars.

  26. Hahaha,
    My partner and I are currently engaged in some part time play with an ex pat man and his lovely Omani girlfriend.

  27. this is really intresting, i been living in this country enough to understand all the different poits ppl trying to state here but its just amusing to have all of these in one place lol

  28. People are people any where in the world, wether Arabic or not, Islamic or not. People confuse between an Islamic country and a country which it's people are prodometly of Islamic religion. Women will feel horny and will always go for the grass on the other side and man do the same ! The question here is when an Arab from the GCC chooses a women it's because of her beauty wether Indian or European but when the GCC women choose Asian nationals is simply to "Use" them for sexual pleasure.

    The above might sound like a good deal for the fuckers bit remember, married women come with a prize, even though you might not notice it ! If you fuck a married woman then prepare yours to be fucked too. This phenomena has proven to be true in many instances, so I say to all the studs out there who find safety I'm taking someone else's women , prepare yours for a good snagging by someone else. The chances are it has already happened and you don't even know it !

  29. why omani guys are mad bout fuckin women in asshole??

  30. Hilarious blog, hahahaha I am definetly coming to Oman and checking out supermarkets bananas ... Oman or any GCC does not have co-education, and probably and definetly bcoz of that boys end up f***ing boys is ass.... Then that becomes a habit , so they do it to women too...

  31. Hahahaaha I need a list of supermarkets please.

  32. Hey Guys. I am really surprised of how you people analyze the situation in Oman, or in any other Middle Eastern country. There are loads of things happen behind closed doors in the West, but because all gayish, lesbo, adultry,girl-friend, cheating issues are common there, you dont feel sorry for that. Tell you what, just see how many vigins are there in the West? As I heard and read, girls start sexual activity at the age of 12!!!!. having some ethical issues here and there in Oman with Omani women/men doesnt mean the country is a trash. I like a saying: Take it or leave it. If you dont like the country, simply, leave it and stay jobless, poor in your place. As I see here, the country of full of foriegners from the West.


If you wish to post anonymously, please pick a nickname by selecting the Name/URL option, or at least sign off your comment with one! I will delete comments I find objectionable or needlessly inflammatory. Sorry for the word verification.... OMG the spam has gotten BAD these past 12 months... trying to avoid making one log in...